Sigh feel so caught up and choked inside. Feel like shouting over the rooftop. Feel the need to just let everything out and cry. Nay I'm not gonna cry just yet. But feel so sad. So sad.

I'm a lone wolf now. Have social interactions but alone.

Sigh so many projects to do. Then plus Youth Sunday. Ethel's advice was to get people to help which was what I was trying and yup it's better. Haha the MBTI thing and her experience is right.

Really open with Valerie and Amanda, amazing how soon it is. I trust this person, but I daren't talk to her. Don't know if its my vibe radar or just my paranoia. It's a one-way warmth thing. Maybe I shouldn't be in this foursome. And maybe I'm pushing this other person away. I need to refresh the page.

Why is it that it tends to be the people whom I look up to that leave? It feels like a repeat of my friendship with Sarah. Only worse.

If only love wasn't such a crucial thing to me. Tears come streaming down your face. When you lose something you can't replace. When you love someone but it goes to waste. Could it be worse?

I need a break, a breather, anything.

Oh God. Send me an angel.