Finally.

Argh finally blogging. But must make it fast.

Let's just start say it hasn't been good.

Friday, I didn't realise it but I was feeling frustrated right from the start, in the morning. Chem test was do-able. Then I had 2 hours to slack, so I stayed in the ODAC room. And it got worse. And worse. Started feeling restless so I went out and sat on the bench. I wanted to lament how SIAN I was and Nad happened to walk past so I did. Yeah so anyway, it got quite bad. I didn't want to join in the convos, nor talk or listen. But I really wanted to run around and play frisbee but they were all guys.

Then ODAC started and people started to come. Joanna and Xiuyun saw my face and immediately asked what happened, asked me to share my problems. The problem was, I had no idea. I really didn't. So we did the normal exercises, then we walked to the nearby HDB to climb stairs (3 sets of 10 storeys). On the way there Xiuyun was pulling me along by my arm, once she massaged me and surprisingly it wasn't ticklish. Even my nervous system was numb haha. But yeah climbing stairs helped me feel better. :) A little. Haha there was this old guy on the 7th floor who gave us weird stares as we went up and down. We would hold our laughter, then giggle once we were 1 floor up/down. Wanted to say Hi on the last set but he was shy and went home. Oh was surprised when Weiliang encouraged me whenever I slowed down, and at the top and bottom quite a few would ask if I was doing fine. ODAC family.

I got to score during Captain's Ball! :) Joaquin was the Captain. Haha Joanna was still trying to cheer me up by playing with me, pose while the ball was coming. Thanks guys. :)

Sat, woke up early for Parent Teacher Conference. Cried like shit in front of Ms Choy. So sorry, and thank you. Emo-ed in my room, then left for study session. I went an hour early so I went to walk one whole round around the St Nicks amk block, following the main road. Met SuLong LaoShi and we separated. Saw the inside from the secondary gate, felt like crying. Everything was so ..... foreign. At least the track and extension block were the same. But all those special little corners where our memories are, they're all gone. The only corners left other than the field and hockey pitch are the Forum and this spot outside the Bio labs and a spot outside the MPR1 and the Guides Den + board and a bit of the New Specs Stand. The rest are gone.

So I walked back to Tauhuay shop and was busy being unproductive with Beef. Sherms dropped by. Then we had lunch at Macs, Hui came and Cherms dropped by. Studied until 8 in Macs, then we left. It was a good chatting session, like a glimpse of the old St Nicks life. At 5pm I was in a dilemma whether to rush to the airport to send Ethel off but I would have reached at 630, which would be too late so I just messaged her. Yihui told me that I should go, otherwise I would always regret. But it would be awkward to go alone with all her other friends, especially 302. Really should have gone, she went in at 7 and only 4 TK peeps were there, 302 didn't go. And she was the airport at 5.42. Wonder if she was waiting for more people. So sorry Ethel.

I know that you may not have meant what you said, that everything might have been said in a manner that would make me feel better. But sometimes I would rather believe in the good of that person, any person.

Sun was okay, sermon was quite good though. After lunch, Ben, Gabby, and I bumped into Danielle, Kane and Dom Yeo. We walked to Orchard Central and walked around. Gabby left after we had a drink. Wanted to go ECP but it was too late already so Kane and Danielle for dinner and the rest of us went home. ECP next sunday! :D

Monday was.... Started off feeling frustrated. But well, when you're with friends you've got no choice but to be "happy" even when you're not. But I held up quite well. Accompanied Eleanor to Ikea, cheered me up a little. Eleanor and I are much closer now. Amanda and I too. Can't say the same for Val and I. Went home with Sheen and Val.

Today was so.... I didn't know how tired I was. Slept and dreamt during GP timed compre, dreamt of Vis. Haha because I want to talk to Vis. Dreamt that there was this bear that was roaring/growling and it was towering over me and I could see that in the roof of its great mouth there was a red paint chip the color of the amk site. Haha. Tomorrow going Bukit Timah. Keep us all safe Lord.

I wish for faith.