Sunday night useless rantings

Sundays are the best days of the week. And stressful nights.

Today for worship we sang Saviour King and 10,000 Reasons. Reminded me that we should be ablaze with life, our life in the Saviour Lord Jesus Christ. Ablaze with life, hot burning coals. And not buckets of cold heavy dead sand. Sand that is used to put out fires. I miss campfires and doing BBQs, watching the white embers glow red.

Sigh don't know how else to express things haha. :(

Today's BS, we combined again. :/ But at least today's different, all 3 small groups combined. And we talked about conforming to the mold of the world. Two of us talked about how we always have to live up to other's expectations of us, following the image set for us by the world. And today Auntie GiokHua said something which I can't wholly remember, but it reminded me that all these things, we can rely on God. Not just the big decisions, but the little little things we do, every piece of homework, every exam paper, our daily duties. And also we mentioned that we all have a place in the Body. Like without one of us, it wouldn't work as well. Like if your squad doesn't have full attendance or something, there will be this not-so-nice gap in the side of the squad when you march.

And yeah I realise (again) how much I'm still lacking in spiritual strength. And mental strength.

Man I just wanna go against the standard mold, where everyone does the same thing because everyone else does the same thing. I wanna fly to some country and hope some farmer's family will take me in and I'll be happy working as their hired hand. Everyone is chionging to study. Who doesn't want a good place in society, to be a you yong de ren?

RAWRRRRRRRRR. Must learn to be more open, less paranoid. Must learn to be more accepting of myself, as Sarah always told me.