Reflections in the Dark Night

Just had a session with my mentor earlier. (Happened to meet James and Justin too! Haha) And I feel like reflecting. Normally I would write in my diary, but I suspect I'll fall asleep like the previous time.

It was the topic of Discipline of Dependence, how we must work consistently (Discipline) but also rely wholeheartedly (Dependence). So we talked about me and BT. I've been going for 3 services, which is really tiring. Butttt. My mentor asked, and I realised, that maybe I haven't been getting as much out of sermons as I should be. I do process it in my head, think about it in practical terms as the sermon is being preached, but maybe I can do more. Really meditate over it during lunch or on the train home. Expand on it, link it to other lessons, get a bigger picture on things. Or if it's expositional, break each part down and make it applicable for me.

In that case, I can reduce my evening service attendance.. But then there is the work of reaching out to YAs in the evening. And dear Yanni.

Father, it is always a humbling experience to hear my mentor talk about her sins. So humbling. It is my prayer too, that I may see myself as wholly sinful, yet wholly saint in Your mercy and grace. You know, whenever I see my mentor, I just can't believe I have this blessing of having her as my mentor. It's too good to be true.

I asked to learn what it means to love with God's love. I guess God's answer is to: Pray.

Okie falling asleep. Thank you for today. Beams.