25th November
Well knowing that I'm wasting away the first 12 hours of today, here I am. On Blogger.
But somehow, attempts to study have made me focus more on what comes after finals. Feelings of contemplation, of worry, of emptiness, particularly after today's QT. So much ministry work to do, and yet so little that we seem to be able to actually do. And if so, is my relationship with God strong enough to hold me up amidst so much? Or will I once again crumble and fall into pits of sin, too blind to climb out until it's too late.
Yet, I cannot worry. I must trust, or learn to trust God to handle these kind of things, while giving myself time to reflect in solitude and convincing myself to rest in God. Emotions so condensed, it's like a black hole, small and dense and I don't know what's inside. Hahahaha whut -.- right. Argh I think I just need a time out. A really really long one.
Be made real to me, O Lord.
But somehow, attempts to study have made me focus more on what comes after finals. Feelings of contemplation, of worry, of emptiness, particularly after today's QT. So much ministry work to do, and yet so little that we seem to be able to actually do. And if so, is my relationship with God strong enough to hold me up amidst so much? Or will I once again crumble and fall into pits of sin, too blind to climb out until it's too late.
Yet, I cannot worry. I must trust, or learn to trust God to handle these kind of things, while giving myself time to reflect in solitude and convincing myself to rest in God. Emotions so condensed, it's like a black hole, small and dense and I don't know what's inside. Hahahaha whut -.- right. Argh I think I just need a time out. A really really long one.
Be made real to me, O Lord.