Training Ground
Oh I am tired. Maybe it's the late nights and little sleep, maybe it's PMS, maybe it's the food coma, maybe inside, I really am tired.
I'm tired of being intentional, of constantly deciding how to make the best use of my time....
Should I do my LSM reading, my GE reading or my EL reading? Should I study CM, or cross-stitch, or slowly work on the SOP? Should I spend time with one group of friends, or the other group of friends, or take some time alone? How should I run Congre Care in this last year? Should I delegate this to Bev? How should I lead and guide my Befrienders? How should I be and who should I serve as a Befriender? How can I best lead this PSG? How can I best be a blessing to others?
It's only week 1 of school, week 2 of 2015, and I'm tired.
Somehow, I don't know where the more emotional side of me went. I can't say "Thank you" and "Sorry" without feeling like I mean it, which is a little worrying. Hahaha maybe it's a phase and it'll go away. But when I pray, there are little emotions attached. I don't think I thirst for forgiveness. I see, but I don't grief, and I want to hope.
Part of me curses myself for being capable of so little, for having such poor stamina. But in prayer, part of me is reminded again that God is gracious and He knows me best. So maybe this is my training ground for next AY. Father move my heart again, may Your Spirit take over all of me.
I'm tired of being intentional, of constantly deciding how to make the best use of my time....
Should I do my LSM reading, my GE reading or my EL reading? Should I study CM, or cross-stitch, or slowly work on the SOP? Should I spend time with one group of friends, or the other group of friends, or take some time alone? How should I run Congre Care in this last year? Should I delegate this to Bev? How should I lead and guide my Befrienders? How should I be and who should I serve as a Befriender? How can I best lead this PSG? How can I best be a blessing to others?
It's only week 1 of school, week 2 of 2015, and I'm tired.
Somehow, I don't know where the more emotional side of me went. I can't say "Thank you" and "Sorry" without feeling like I mean it, which is a little worrying. Hahaha maybe it's a phase and it'll go away. But when I pray, there are little emotions attached. I don't think I thirst for forgiveness. I see, but I don't grief, and I want to hope.
Part of me curses myself for being capable of so little, for having such poor stamina. But in prayer, part of me is reminded again that God is gracious and He knows me best. So maybe this is my training ground for next AY. Father move my heart again, may Your Spirit take over all of me.