Stumble and Rise
Went to bed with doubts arising and woke up with them still beside me. Ahh, I need real life assurance for conviction. Yet, is this not what faith is?
And faith without works is dead. And we'll keep on fighting against doubts in this life, just as we struggle with sin.
I just read my previous post again and I wrote that self-glorification in service is futile. Not only because it doesn't fulfill the purpose of service (that is, to glorify Father), but also because your lack of reliance on Him and faith in Him will not bring about any good works. Nor will you ever be able to produce BETTER works, because you'll never go beyond your limits and therefore will never grow very much.
God has also been playing some jokes on me, to teach me that He makes all things good, no matter our efforts. I asked to postpone the meeting, then stick to the meeting date, then postpone the meeting again. Then I suggested something, it got changed to something else, then change back to the original idea in a different form. I accede to the internship, turns out I'm alone, then now I've to decide again. What you doing ah.
In the middle of contemplating over BSF now, and I just thought: What is my purpose of going to GBG? I don't share the Gospel like Mag, nor have comfortable conversations like Yong, nor offer happiness like Xuanying.
But thinking about it again, He does shape me through it, to open up myself to them, to be gentle in all I do and say. And I guess, a smile is something good enough.
But Lord, is there anything I can do more for you?
Creation care + Compassion and Justice + Evangelism and Teaching = Holistic Mission
Seems like I'm missing the last two - Feed His sheep and feed myself.
And faith without works is dead. And we'll keep on fighting against doubts in this life, just as we struggle with sin.
I just read my previous post again and I wrote that self-glorification in service is futile. Not only because it doesn't fulfill the purpose of service (that is, to glorify Father), but also because your lack of reliance on Him and faith in Him will not bring about any good works. Nor will you ever be able to produce BETTER works, because you'll never go beyond your limits and therefore will never grow very much.
God has also been playing some jokes on me, to teach me that He makes all things good, no matter our efforts. I asked to postpone the meeting, then stick to the meeting date, then postpone the meeting again. Then I suggested something, it got changed to something else, then change back to the original idea in a different form. I accede to the internship, turns out I'm alone, then now I've to decide again. What you doing ah.
In the middle of contemplating over BSF now, and I just thought: What is my purpose of going to GBG? I don't share the Gospel like Mag, nor have comfortable conversations like Yong, nor offer happiness like Xuanying.
But thinking about it again, He does shape me through it, to open up myself to them, to be gentle in all I do and say. And I guess, a smile is something good enough.
But Lord, is there anything I can do more for you?
Creation care + Compassion and Justice + Evangelism and Teaching = Holistic Mission
Seems like I'm missing the last two - Feed His sheep and feed myself.