Frazzled
That's how I feel. Worn rough at the edges from constant use.
On one hand, I'm to blame. Chronic issue of wanting to be in control of situations, of reducing risks and having backup plans. Badbad.
Guess I need to be really intentional in trusting God.
NO MORE WORRYING.
Edit (@0052hours):
It's Thursday and my assignment has been submitted. (: Time for a self-declared Sabbath. Reached home really late because we were up in the observatory tonight! God has really prepared everything, laid out everything. On Tues, Awan found two gurantors, so now he's officially my junior. (: We were really just taking assurance, so THANK GOD. On Wed, Rev Lam replied, saying that he's willing and able to speak for our camp. Again, we were just going by faith, because it was really God who led me to meet Rev Lam (the last time we met, I was in diapers) at the Creation Care conference.
Also, the sky conditions for the observatory session were excellent today! Seeing was good, skies were clear of clouds, the moons were literally aligned (moons of Jupiter, that is). So we got to see
- Beautiful crescent moon, you could see the edge between light and dark
- Venus in its crescent phase, it was so bright that you can't see its edge
- Jupiter with 2 dark bands and its 4 main moons in a straight line, two on either side of it
- Jewel box, an open cluster with red giants and young blue stars
- Omega Centauri, a globular cluster that resembled faint sprinkles
- A chance shooting star that only a few of us saw :O
- Lagoon Nebula, a wisp of red from its hydrogen emission
- Centaurus Alpha, a galaxy with a prominent dust lane, as though someone cleared a path from the stars
- Ring Nebula, a rainbow in a circle
- And finally Saturn, with clear distinctions between its rings
As I stood there in the observatory, reminding myself that I could never have prepared all of this in such perfect alignment for myself, I was strangely reminded of how small I am. Not because of how big Saturn and Jupiter are or how distant and huge the nebulae are. But because God prepared all of this not just for me, but also for the others standing there patiently within those 4 walls (no roof). Somehow, in caring for others, people become simply bodies that "I" am supposed to care for physically and emotionally, as though they were mini role-play quizzes in the great test of life. God reminded me that He cares for the planets, He cares for the Earth, He cares for the billions of other people and He cares for me. I am just one in a billion. He is hard at work, moulding and shaping the lives of others, just as He is in mine.
I am just one in the billion of lives He is holding. And for all of us in that room, He aligned the stars for us that night. I will learn to trust Him.
On one hand, I'm to blame. Chronic issue of wanting to be in control of situations, of reducing risks and having backup plans. Badbad.
Guess I need to be really intentional in trusting God.
NO MORE WORRYING.
Edit (@0052hours):
It's Thursday and my assignment has been submitted. (: Time for a self-declared Sabbath. Reached home really late because we were up in the observatory tonight! God has really prepared everything, laid out everything. On Tues, Awan found two gurantors, so now he's officially my junior. (: We were really just taking assurance, so THANK GOD. On Wed, Rev Lam replied, saying that he's willing and able to speak for our camp. Again, we were just going by faith, because it was really God who led me to meet Rev Lam (the last time we met, I was in diapers) at the Creation Care conference.
Also, the sky conditions for the observatory session were excellent today! Seeing was good, skies were clear of clouds, the moons were literally aligned (moons of Jupiter, that is). So we got to see
- Beautiful crescent moon, you could see the edge between light and dark
- Venus in its crescent phase, it was so bright that you can't see its edge
- Jupiter with 2 dark bands and its 4 main moons in a straight line, two on either side of it
- Jewel box, an open cluster with red giants and young blue stars
- Omega Centauri, a globular cluster that resembled faint sprinkles
- A chance shooting star that only a few of us saw :O
- Lagoon Nebula, a wisp of red from its hydrogen emission
- Centaurus Alpha, a galaxy with a prominent dust lane, as though someone cleared a path from the stars
- Ring Nebula, a rainbow in a circle
- And finally Saturn, with clear distinctions between its rings
As I stood there in the observatory, reminding myself that I could never have prepared all of this in such perfect alignment for myself, I was strangely reminded of how small I am. Not because of how big Saturn and Jupiter are or how distant and huge the nebulae are. But because God prepared all of this not just for me, but also for the others standing there patiently within those 4 walls (no roof). Somehow, in caring for others, people become simply bodies that "I" am supposed to care for physically and emotionally, as though they were mini role-play quizzes in the great test of life. God reminded me that He cares for the planets, He cares for the Earth, He cares for the billions of other people and He cares for me. I am just one in a billion. He is hard at work, moulding and shaping the lives of others, just as He is in mine.
I am just one in the billion of lives He is holding. And for all of us in that room, He aligned the stars for us that night. I will learn to trust Him.