Growth Chart: Falling Petals, Gentle Silence
I am so not gentle. Sadly. But I do love staring at trees.
Random: When acid is the first thing you taste in the morning, milk becomes sooo sweet. (:
Back to this. Holidays tend to be a period of growth spurt for me, but it seems that God is still trying to teach me something while my mind is not yet completely bombarded by school. He is using different people to show me different things.
Yesterday's FT was quite powerful. Sakura trees standing in silence, scattering beauty over people who are grieving. Walking barefooted on grass, being in the world and allowing ourselves to feel for/with others. The beauty of clouds in sunshine and in shade and the need to see the suffering in other parts of the world.
You are life, You are love, You bring light to the darkness
You are love, You give hope, Every heart that is broken
Great are You Lord
It's Your breath in our lungs
So we pour out our praise, we pour out our praise
It's Your breath in our lungs
So we pour out our praise to You only
All the earth will shout Your praise
Our hearts will cry these bones will sing
Great are You Lord
It made me want to take His breath and breathe it out upon all those I care for and love, maybe even all God's people. FT also made me question where is the balance between caring for others and building my own relationship with God. (A few months ago I would have said "bearing their burdens", but I know now that I don't bear anyone's burdens.) And perhaps consciously and intentionally tracking what God is doing in my life is more important?
But on a whole, it was through FT that I learned something: I don't have to do anything to praise God, I just have to be the Sakura tree HE designed me to be. We have been wired to be Sakura trees, growing among grasses, providing shade and refuge for the weary. This is God's likeness in us. Apart from sanctifying our human nature, we don't really have to do anything. Like a tree, we just have to stand there in silence, and maybe shed our petals for two out of 52 weeks in a year. And sometimes silence is enough to fill the void, there is no need for insincere and apathetic advice. If GOD Himself has designed me to be a Sakura tree, then that is how I can give glory to Him. Be who He made me to be, not striving to be something more or being disobedient and becoming lesser than that. It also means being sensitive to the Spirit's leading.
Simply put, my question on what it means to glorify God (which is the chief end of man) has been answered. I am designed to be a Sakura tree, but all I am now is but a broken vessel with sharp edges.
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So yes, it seems like God is using Esther to speak to me. I too only realised in July that there's something wrong with my social circle: too little non-Christian friends. I was ashamed. Be doers of the Word, not hearers only! When Esther brought up the topic of interfaith in SEnT, I brushed it away. But after my Muslim friend's mother passed, it made me question: is it truly loving to try and evangelise to Muslims, especially when they are hurting and grieving? I dare not start such a conversation with Esther haha. :P
So few of us have a right to talk about suffering. It's a blessing, but it's also sad. Who will mourn with those who mourn?
And Elijah! Haha we're still awkward around each other, but it's getting better. Here is a man after God's heart. And I super respect him for that. I wonder what God will teach me through him and the rest of SEnT comm.
Our GOD is a big and mighty GOD. I just have too little faith and too little courage.
Random: When acid is the first thing you taste in the morning, milk becomes sooo sweet. (:
Back to this. Holidays tend to be a period of growth spurt for me, but it seems that God is still trying to teach me something while my mind is not yet completely bombarded by school. He is using different people to show me different things.
Yesterday's FT was quite powerful. Sakura trees standing in silence, scattering beauty over people who are grieving. Walking barefooted on grass, being in the world and allowing ourselves to feel for/with others. The beauty of clouds in sunshine and in shade and the need to see the suffering in other parts of the world.
You are life, You are love, You bring light to the darkness
You are love, You give hope, Every heart that is broken
Great are You Lord
It's Your breath in our lungs
So we pour out our praise, we pour out our praise
It's Your breath in our lungs
So we pour out our praise to You only
All the earth will shout Your praise
Our hearts will cry these bones will sing
Great are You Lord
It made me want to take His breath and breathe it out upon all those I care for and love, maybe even all God's people. FT also made me question where is the balance between caring for others and building my own relationship with God. (A few months ago I would have said "bearing their burdens", but I know now that I don't bear anyone's burdens.) And perhaps consciously and intentionally tracking what God is doing in my life is more important?
But on a whole, it was through FT that I learned something: I don't have to do anything to praise God, I just have to be the Sakura tree HE designed me to be. We have been wired to be Sakura trees, growing among grasses, providing shade and refuge for the weary. This is God's likeness in us. Apart from sanctifying our human nature, we don't really have to do anything. Like a tree, we just have to stand there in silence, and maybe shed our petals for two out of 52 weeks in a year. And sometimes silence is enough to fill the void, there is no need for insincere and apathetic advice. If GOD Himself has designed me to be a Sakura tree, then that is how I can give glory to Him. Be who He made me to be, not striving to be something more or being disobedient and becoming lesser than that. It also means being sensitive to the Spirit's leading.
Simply put, my question on what it means to glorify God (which is the chief end of man) has been answered. I am designed to be a Sakura tree, but all I am now is but a broken vessel with sharp edges.
--------------------
So yes, it seems like God is using Esther to speak to me. I too only realised in July that there's something wrong with my social circle: too little non-Christian friends. I was ashamed. Be doers of the Word, not hearers only! When Esther brought up the topic of interfaith in SEnT, I brushed it away. But after my Muslim friend's mother passed, it made me question: is it truly loving to try and evangelise to Muslims, especially when they are hurting and grieving? I dare not start such a conversation with Esther haha. :P
So few of us have a right to talk about suffering. It's a blessing, but it's also sad. Who will mourn with those who mourn?
And Elijah! Haha we're still awkward around each other, but it's getting better. Here is a man after God's heart. And I super respect him for that. I wonder what God will teach me through him and the rest of SEnT comm.
Our GOD is a big and mighty GOD. I just have too little faith and too little courage.