Exam Week 1
So. I am tired. You know how you're physically and socially tired but you just want to stay up late to have some quiet time in the dark? That's what I'm doing now. But it was also a very heartening and happy day and I am VERY VERY THANKFUL Father God. Hearts.
I was very stressed on Sun, so much so that my chest was tight and I had trouble breathing properly for a while - skipped evening service because I was so anxious. But Grace prayed for me - and I received grace indeed. It all went away immediately. Thank you, Father, for your grace over this child of Yours.
Met the Science CFers for lunch on Mon, right before my Urban Eco test. I felt less sian after that, but it didn't change the difficulty of the paper. I honestly want to repress any memory of the exam.
Tuesday, Sarah Chan and Matt Hooi came to visit the Art table in Science Library. Art table is really such a quiet, unobtrusive, yet joyful way of engaging the people in that time and place. Even though Science people aren't really the artsy type, we're more shy and paiseh. But I think people do appreciate it in small ways.
Wednesday, I met Se Ern for lunch (and Zephy happened to be there) and she told me a lot about Yale CF. Interesting perspectives, much to learn. Though unassuming, Se Ern is a wonderful blessing, a faithful servant.
Thursday, met Jess for tea-break and we talked about her role as Arts Chair. We've come quite a way from just acknowledging each other's presence along MJC's corridors. Thurs was also the day I received news of my Grandpa's passing. Quite sudden to me, I didn't really expect it, I only knew that it would come someday. First time feeling a sense of loss due to a death in the family. Grabbed at straws - told Sabby when I bumped into her, rubbed off Guin's cheeriness, found empathy in Leng.
At the wake, Tong came on Friday night and it was such a surprise and comfort to see him. Then Science Comm came over on Sat (and Elaine fetched me over).
Today (Saturday) was Hanyi & Zoey's wedding - :DDD Hahaha. Felt quite dissonant because it was a wedding in the middle of holding a wake. But oh! Seeing all the dinos reconnect with each other was nice (watching from the sidelines as the youngest CFer present). Sat with Estar and Jonnyge (really very thankful for them) for the service; Star was so excited and I was too. Spent lunch mostly with Leng, Prarts, & Isaac. Lisman spoke on "respecting privacy, showing vulnerability, keeping solidarity" - very different from a usual wedding sermon. And the reception lunch was beautiful - dinner plates and glasses to reduce disposables, fruits for dessert table, a request for suggestions on how to live as a couple in a community.
Lessons:
1. Perfect love casts out fear. Lisman described vulnerability as being affected by others (friends, family, circumstances in the world). Vulnerability is necessary for love - it shows that you are human. Lack of vulnerability only creates a response of fear. It was a new perspective - perfect love (a show of vulnerability) is willing to show that we too are weak; it casts out the fear of the other and makes space for love. After all, we are all humans - a type of solidarity we have.
2. God's confronting how I see my family and extended family. Like a follow-up from the Caregivers' and Elderly workshop. Elaine commented that we can talk about it academically, but in reality, it's a different ballgame. Do I love my family? Do I see my extended family as a ministry? Am I willing to take the time to learn to love them? Instead of maintaining status quo. I have not yet found the words. But perhaps another thing that God is trying to heal in my life.
I was very stressed on Sun, so much so that my chest was tight and I had trouble breathing properly for a while - skipped evening service because I was so anxious. But Grace prayed for me - and I received grace indeed. It all went away immediately. Thank you, Father, for your grace over this child of Yours.
Met the Science CFers for lunch on Mon, right before my Urban Eco test. I felt less sian after that, but it didn't change the difficulty of the paper. I honestly want to repress any memory of the exam.
Tuesday, Sarah Chan and Matt Hooi came to visit the Art table in Science Library. Art table is really such a quiet, unobtrusive, yet joyful way of engaging the people in that time and place. Even though Science people aren't really the artsy type, we're more shy and paiseh. But I think people do appreciate it in small ways.
Wednesday, I met Se Ern for lunch (and Zephy happened to be there) and she told me a lot about Yale CF. Interesting perspectives, much to learn. Though unassuming, Se Ern is a wonderful blessing, a faithful servant.
Thursday, met Jess for tea-break and we talked about her role as Arts Chair. We've come quite a way from just acknowledging each other's presence along MJC's corridors. Thurs was also the day I received news of my Grandpa's passing. Quite sudden to me, I didn't really expect it, I only knew that it would come someday. First time feeling a sense of loss due to a death in the family. Grabbed at straws - told Sabby when I bumped into her, rubbed off Guin's cheeriness, found empathy in Leng.
At the wake, Tong came on Friday night and it was such a surprise and comfort to see him. Then Science Comm came over on Sat (and Elaine fetched me over).
Today (Saturday) was Hanyi & Zoey's wedding - :DDD Hahaha. Felt quite dissonant because it was a wedding in the middle of holding a wake. But oh! Seeing all the dinos reconnect with each other was nice (watching from the sidelines as the youngest CFer present). Sat with Estar and Jonnyge (really very thankful for them) for the service; Star was so excited and I was too. Spent lunch mostly with Leng, Prarts, & Isaac. Lisman spoke on "respecting privacy, showing vulnerability, keeping solidarity" - very different from a usual wedding sermon. And the reception lunch was beautiful - dinner plates and glasses to reduce disposables, fruits for dessert table, a request for suggestions on how to live as a couple in a community.
Lessons:
1. Perfect love casts out fear. Lisman described vulnerability as being affected by others (friends, family, circumstances in the world). Vulnerability is necessary for love - it shows that you are human. Lack of vulnerability only creates a response of fear. It was a new perspective - perfect love (a show of vulnerability) is willing to show that we too are weak; it casts out the fear of the other and makes space for love. After all, we are all humans - a type of solidarity we have.
2. God's confronting how I see my family and extended family. Like a follow-up from the Caregivers' and Elderly workshop. Elaine commented that we can talk about it academically, but in reality, it's a different ballgame. Do I love my family? Do I see my extended family as a ministry? Am I willing to take the time to learn to love them? Instead of maintaining status quo. I have not yet found the words. But perhaps another thing that God is trying to heal in my life.