Recess Week
Ahahaha. Becks ah Becks. I've gone wrong somewhere.
Partly the fatigue of meeting people, partly a lack of drawing from the spring of life and turning aside. Partly lonely, partly strained by weeks on weeks of self-discipline and productivity, that has led to my slightly destructive behaviour.
Okay fine, really quite destructive. I got addicted to watching Da Chang Jin (Dae Jang Geum), it showed at 11.30pm to 1.30am, about the time I usually reach home. My body lacks sleep, my eyes lack a break from screens, my mind is constantly buzzing with thoughts.
I realised something in all this madness. My favourite character in the show, as with 10 years ago when it first came out, is Lady Han. My gut wrenches, physically, at the scenes where she's tortured. And I realised it's because of mentorship. Again. My own longing for a mentor figure, who loves me and watches over me as I go through life. So many people have been my mentor figure, to the point where it bordered on idolatry - she could do no wrong in my eyes. Each time, either that person leaves or I realise and come to terms with it.
Lord, it's hard to pray. Please be my mentor. Teach me to love you, though both my flesh and mind are weak. Thank you for showing me a family's love.
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Being in Exco is... Hahaha the seniors used to say, they have no idea what they're doing. I don't even have time to stop and think about whether I know what I'm doing. Admin work has been laid aside, forgotten. A 10 page report to be written within 1.5 more weeks. I don't know whatttt. Should not have taken 5 modules lol.
Being with Exco. We still haven't figured out how we belong to each other. If some people fit together well and some don't, it must mean that we've gone wrong somewhere. Our fundamental link in purpose and faith is missing.
An old note reminds me, "How does you joining exco serve God's Kingdom?" I don't know leh. Just filling in a position so that we don't have to close down. Blind to my strengths, but 1 Peter still encourages me... a bit.
Partly the fatigue of meeting people, partly a lack of drawing from the spring of life and turning aside. Partly lonely, partly strained by weeks on weeks of self-discipline and productivity, that has led to my slightly destructive behaviour.
Okay fine, really quite destructive. I got addicted to watching Da Chang Jin (Dae Jang Geum), it showed at 11.30pm to 1.30am, about the time I usually reach home. My body lacks sleep, my eyes lack a break from screens, my mind is constantly buzzing with thoughts.
I realised something in all this madness. My favourite character in the show, as with 10 years ago when it first came out, is Lady Han. My gut wrenches, physically, at the scenes where she's tortured. And I realised it's because of mentorship. Again. My own longing for a mentor figure, who loves me and watches over me as I go through life. So many people have been my mentor figure, to the point where it bordered on idolatry - she could do no wrong in my eyes. Each time, either that person leaves or I realise and come to terms with it.
Lord, it's hard to pray. Please be my mentor. Teach me to love you, though both my flesh and mind are weak. Thank you for showing me a family's love.
-----------------------------------------
Being in Exco is... Hahaha the seniors used to say, they have no idea what they're doing. I don't even have time to stop and think about whether I know what I'm doing. Admin work has been laid aside, forgotten. A 10 page report to be written within 1.5 more weeks. I don't know whatttt. Should not have taken 5 modules lol.
Being with Exco. We still haven't figured out how we belong to each other. If some people fit together well and some don't, it must mean that we've gone wrong somewhere. Our fundamental link in purpose and faith is missing.
An old note reminds me, "How does you joining exco serve God's Kingdom?" I don't know leh. Just filling in a position so that we don't have to close down. Blind to my strengths, but 1 Peter still encourages me... a bit.