Post EARC // Foreword
Around a week has passed since EARC ended. (:
I admit I was quite disappointed during EARC. But I am also a disappointment - I didn't try to make it more interesting for myself either, and simply sat idle.
Majority of the things taught, majority of the wonder and awe that the students took away, I already knew. Maybe my disappointment shows that I haven't fully understood the wonder of it? I don't know. But it was great to hear Munther Isaac speak - the clarity of his teaching, the heart behind the exposition, it was stirring.
It was difficult to find, or make, good conversations too. Time with our group was too short and too structured for real conversations that could have culminated in an exploration for possible responses to social issues. Nor did I put in the hard work of going out to find people who would have been interesting to talk to. Frankly speaking, I was struggling too much with even finding a reason to be at EARC - I was worried and anxious about finding out what my next context would be, and had thrown aside my NUS VCF context. It was, though, a good time of lamentation. Not enough, but good enough. Lamentation of our generation, our churches, and of our own pains. It was also a good time of Selah.
It was also a good time with friends. I spent quite a bit of time with the Mongolian delegation. Especially with Iveel and Baaska, who were in the same cafeteria as me. And I kept bumping into Cheon bagsh hahaha. Spent the last night with them, running around the third floor lobby as their photographer, grabbing fried chicken to fill their appetites, being engaged in conversations I don't understand. But still, I can find emotional rest in them. There was also one night where Soyoung gave me some counsel, and we walked a whole round around the campus while talking. The mozzie bites are still healing.
But it was through these things (the struggles, talking to Soyoung, Selah), that brought clarity to my thinking. It helped me see where I've been led through by God, and what kind of work I would like to do. Now the paths are well-defined, but which choice I should take, that remains unclear. The realisation that no person's company will last and will fill me, is also driving me to seek God more.
Hence, EARC was both the close of a chapter and the opening, the foreword, the stirring of potential of a new chapter. Where should I go? Which path should I take? The naive me wants to choose the adventurous and exotic path, but the practical me knows it's only wiser to take the other path first. Regardless - I've learned that seeking God comes before seeking our life's path. And it makes it beautiful to embrace loneliness as a friend.
P. S. Spoke a bit to Elijah about what EARC is supposed to be, and in some way, I guess EARC was effective for me. It was the whole trip, really, that taught me this: I am Asian, and we are Asia. We are not so different in our mannerisms after all (but the Mongolians are most different). It started when Soyoung and I talked about the Korean culture and good manners, and it was made more acute because a guy from England was in my group. Or how all the Asians in my group laugh sheepishly when we try to keep someone in our group from talking too much, and we furtively exchange looks. We are Asians. xD
I just wished we had more time to talk about us as one people-group.
I admit I was quite disappointed during EARC. But I am also a disappointment - I didn't try to make it more interesting for myself either, and simply sat idle.
Majority of the things taught, majority of the wonder and awe that the students took away, I already knew. Maybe my disappointment shows that I haven't fully understood the wonder of it? I don't know. But it was great to hear Munther Isaac speak - the clarity of his teaching, the heart behind the exposition, it was stirring.
It was difficult to find, or make, good conversations too. Time with our group was too short and too structured for real conversations that could have culminated in an exploration for possible responses to social issues. Nor did I put in the hard work of going out to find people who would have been interesting to talk to. Frankly speaking, I was struggling too much with even finding a reason to be at EARC - I was worried and anxious about finding out what my next context would be, and had thrown aside my NUS VCF context. It was, though, a good time of lamentation. Not enough, but good enough. Lamentation of our generation, our churches, and of our own pains. It was also a good time of Selah.
It was also a good time with friends. I spent quite a bit of time with the Mongolian delegation. Especially with Iveel and Baaska, who were in the same cafeteria as me. And I kept bumping into Cheon bagsh hahaha. Spent the last night with them, running around the third floor lobby as their photographer, grabbing fried chicken to fill their appetites, being engaged in conversations I don't understand. But still, I can find emotional rest in them. There was also one night where Soyoung gave me some counsel, and we walked a whole round around the campus while talking. The mozzie bites are still healing.
But it was through these things (the struggles, talking to Soyoung, Selah), that brought clarity to my thinking. It helped me see where I've been led through by God, and what kind of work I would like to do. Now the paths are well-defined, but which choice I should take, that remains unclear. The realisation that no person's company will last and will fill me, is also driving me to seek God more.
Hence, EARC was both the close of a chapter and the opening, the foreword, the stirring of potential of a new chapter. Where should I go? Which path should I take? The naive me wants to choose the adventurous and exotic path, but the practical me knows it's only wiser to take the other path first. Regardless - I've learned that seeking God comes before seeking our life's path. And it makes it beautiful to embrace loneliness as a friend.
P. S. Spoke a bit to Elijah about what EARC is supposed to be, and in some way, I guess EARC was effective for me. It was the whole trip, really, that taught me this: I am Asian, and we are Asia. We are not so different in our mannerisms after all (but the Mongolians are most different). It started when Soyoung and I talked about the Korean culture and good manners, and it was made more acute because a guy from England was in my group. Or how all the Asians in my group laugh sheepishly when we try to keep someone in our group from talking too much, and we furtively exchange looks. We are Asians. xD
I just wished we had more time to talk about us as one people-group.