Waiting, Listening, Praying
, the time for that is now. Not that other times isn't the right time to do it. It's just, in this dialogue, God's turn to speak. When I tried to sabbath at the airport on Saturday (today is Monday), He told me to listen and wait. So I didn't speak much during prayer, just... sit and be aware that He is present.
And speak He did. I was sending chi Eunice off, and got to meet her spiritual mother, the lady who taught her how to tithe by giving her a big sum and telling her to give 10% of that sum to church. (like who does that?!) And she spoke tongues and interpreted for me.
That God has always been preparing me to go, not just in skills but also the character that He's put and groomed in me, and He is pleased with how I've been walking in His ways. Mark my footsteps, He says, and a picture of boot prints in the snow on pavement. And because I am His and He has been preparing me, creating me, I will make it through, no matter how difficult or cold it is. Joshua 1:9. That when I go there, I will do things in a different manner, a manner that is divine and noticeable, such that people will see and cannot but deny that it is the work of the divine. It may seem quiet and ineffective on the surface, but they will ponder on it inside their hearts, and I should not be discouraged. And that most importantly, that I should spend time with Him. And an image of me in that room, kneeling at that bed, praying and doing QT in the rays of the rising sun.
Thankful for those assurances, I am. But o, how I've failed Him time and time again, giving in to sin and walking by my own strength. Indeed our liturgy is right, when we see the Holy, we see truly how unholy we are.
And on Sunday, having dinner with Rev. Burke. That it's important to self-care, to say no if I cannot take on more jobs, because they will see me as an expert and only I know that I am not. And also about free online courses on MOOC if I ever realise that I need more education and learning. That good preaching comes from sitting under the authority of the Word and loving God, His Word, His people, His work, His world. That when I go there and when I come back, I must decide and know where home is and why - whether it is deciding that Mongolia is home when I am there, or deciding that I'm still visiting when I'm back in Singapore - for home is wherever God has called us to be. Sense of being rooted somewhere is so important. And again, about how the key to cross-cultural ministry is openness to their culture and worldview.
And today, Monday breakfast with Nick Khaw. We met up to tell him more about Mongolia, but we also talked lots about VCF vis a vis Regen and the church. About how Regen allows for individual Christianity, yet VCF has swayed too much towards the other side and needs to focus more on fundamentals of Christianity rather than just the blindspots. Because the church isn't providing the discipleship that VCF was originally providing a counter against. And I left that conversation with a conviction of the importance of good balanced curriculum planning, a feeling of despair, and the desire for more prayer (including lament).
Come, Lord Jesus, and have mercy on us, Your disheveled bride.
And speak He did. I was sending chi Eunice off, and got to meet her spiritual mother, the lady who taught her how to tithe by giving her a big sum and telling her to give 10% of that sum to church. (like who does that?!) And she spoke tongues and interpreted for me.
That God has always been preparing me to go, not just in skills but also the character that He's put and groomed in me, and He is pleased with how I've been walking in His ways. Mark my footsteps, He says, and a picture of boot prints in the snow on pavement. And because I am His and He has been preparing me, creating me, I will make it through, no matter how difficult or cold it is. Joshua 1:9. That when I go there, I will do things in a different manner, a manner that is divine and noticeable, such that people will see and cannot but deny that it is the work of the divine. It may seem quiet and ineffective on the surface, but they will ponder on it inside their hearts, and I should not be discouraged. And that most importantly, that I should spend time with Him. And an image of me in that room, kneeling at that bed, praying and doing QT in the rays of the rising sun.
Thankful for those assurances, I am. But o, how I've failed Him time and time again, giving in to sin and walking by my own strength. Indeed our liturgy is right, when we see the Holy, we see truly how unholy we are.
And on Sunday, having dinner with Rev. Burke. That it's important to self-care, to say no if I cannot take on more jobs, because they will see me as an expert and only I know that I am not. And also about free online courses on MOOC if I ever realise that I need more education and learning. That good preaching comes from sitting under the authority of the Word and loving God, His Word, His people, His work, His world. That when I go there and when I come back, I must decide and know where home is and why - whether it is deciding that Mongolia is home when I am there, or deciding that I'm still visiting when I'm back in Singapore - for home is wherever God has called us to be. Sense of being rooted somewhere is so important. And again, about how the key to cross-cultural ministry is openness to their culture and worldview.
And today, Monday breakfast with Nick Khaw. We met up to tell him more about Mongolia, but we also talked lots about VCF vis a vis Regen and the church. About how Regen allows for individual Christianity, yet VCF has swayed too much towards the other side and needs to focus more on fundamentals of Christianity rather than just the blindspots. Because the church isn't providing the discipleship that VCF was originally providing a counter against. And I left that conversation with a conviction of the importance of good balanced curriculum planning, a feeling of despair, and the desire for more prayer (including lament).
Come, Lord Jesus, and have mercy on us, Your disheveled bride.
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